Entering Therapy as a Process of Becoming Present

Persephone Protouli

Oct 5

5 min read

Updated: Nov 2

There is a moment, often quiet and unremarked, when someone decides to seek therapy. It is not a moment of sudden clarity or a checklist of steps to follow. Instead, it is the beginning of a process, a movement into a different way of being with oneself and others. Therapy is not a place you arrive at; it is a space you enter, one that unfolds in time and in relationship.

I have witnessed this many times in my practice with internationals living in the Netherlands, Switzerland, and across Europe. People arrive carrying the weight of displacement, the ache of loneliness, and the tension of relationships stretched by distance and difference. They come with questions about identity, belonging, and the quiet fears that stir beneath the surface of daily life. What I offer is not a quick fix but a careful invitation to notice what is happening here and now, to explore the patterns that shape their experience, and to take responsibility for the choices that emerge.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

Therapy begins with awareness. It starts with the simple act of turning toward what is present, even when it is uncomfortable or confusing. This is the essence of Gestalt therapy, a practice grounded in the here-and-now experience and the dynamic contact between self and environment. It is not about solving problems from a distance but about engaging with the living moment, with all its unfinished business and interruptions of contact.

Imagine sitting in a room, the light shifting as the day moves on. You notice the tension in your shoulders, the way your breath catches when you speak about your work or your relationships. These small sensations are the figures emerging from the ground of your experience. They are the threads that connect your body, emotions, and thoughts. Therapy invites you to bring these threads into focus, to explore the polarities within yourself—the desire for connection and the fear of vulnerability, the need for freedom and the pull of responsibility.

The Invitation to Awareness and Contact

In my work, I pay close attention to what happens between us in the therapeutic relationship. This is not a neutral space but a living contact boundary where patterns of relating are enacted and can be noticed. The way you make contact with me, the interruptions or confluences, the projections and introjections, all become material for exploration. This relational field is where change begins, not because I offer answers, but because together we create a new possibility for being seen and understood.

Therapy is a process of becoming more aware of how you interrupt contact with yourself and others. It is about noticing when you retroflect—turning feelings or actions inward instead of expressing them—and when you conflate your needs with those of others. These patterns are not flaws to be fixed but invitations to greater responsibility and choice. You learn to recognize the figures that emerge in your experience and to stay with them long enough to understand their meaning.

Eye-level view of a quiet therapy room with a single chair and soft natural light

The Role of Loneliness and Intimacy

Irvin Yalom writes about the existential givens that shape our lives: death, freedom, isolation, and meaninglessness. Loneliness is not just the absence of company but a fundamental condition of human existence. Therapy offers a way to face this loneliness without turning away. It is an encounter with the self that can open the door to intimacy—not only with others but with the parts of yourself that have been hidden or denied.

This process is rarely straightforward. It involves moments of discomfort and uncertainty. You may find yourself resisting the very awareness that therapy encourages. This resistance is part of the contact boundary, the place where growth and fear meet. It is here that the work happens, in the tension between wanting to change and the pull of familiar patterns.

Joan Didion’s precise observations remind us to notice the small details: the way a client’s voice changes when speaking about a partner, the hesitation before answering a question, the subtle shifts in posture. These details are the doorway to deeper understanding. They reveal contradictions and complexities that defy easy explanation. Therapy respects these ambiguities, allowing them to remain without forcing resolution.

Navigating the Challenges of Life Abroad

For those living away from their country of origin, therapy often takes on additional layers of meaning. The experience of displacement can amplify feelings of alienation and loss. The familiar ground of culture, language, and community is replaced by a new environment that may feel both exciting and disorienting. This context shapes the therapeutic process in unique ways.

In my practice, I have worked with many internationals facing anxiety, trauma, relationship difficulties, and the challenges of parenting far from home. Therapy becomes a place to explore how these external circumstances interact with internal patterns. It is a space to acknowledge the grief of separation and the struggle to build a life in unfamiliar territory.

The process of therapy mirrors the experience of living abroad: it requires patience, openness, and a willingness to engage with uncertainty. It is not about erasing the difficulties but about learning to live with them differently. This involves cultivating awareness of how you make contact with yourself and others in this new context, and how you carry the past into the present.

Therapy as a Living Process

Therapy is not a series of steps to follow but a living process that unfolds in time. It is shaped by the interplay of awareness, contact, and choice. Each session is an opportunity to notice what is emerging, to stay with the discomfort, and to explore new possibilities for relating.

In my work, I offer individual therapy as well as couples therapy, recognizing that relationships are often the crucible where patterns become visible. Couples therapy provides a unique space to observe the dance of connection and separation, the polarities that exist between partners, and the unfinished business that can block intimacy.

For those interested in exploring therapy further, I provide detailed information about my approach and services on my website. You can learn more about individual therapy here and couples therapy here. These pages offer a glimpse into what you might expect and how we might work together.

Close-up view of a therapist’s notebook and pen on a wooden table

The Responsibility of Choice

One of the core principles of Gestalt therapy is responsibility. This does not mean blame but the recognition that you have a role in how you respond to your experience. Therapy invites you to claim this responsibility, to see where you have choices even in difficult circumstances.

This can be a challenging realization. It requires honesty and courage to face the ways you may have avoided contact or turned away from your needs. Yet it also opens the possibility of greater freedom. By becoming aware of your patterns and the figures that emerge in your experience, you can begin to make different choices.

The therapeutic relationship supports this process. It is a place where you can experiment with new ways of being, where the usual interruptions of contact can be noticed and worked through. This relational work is subtle and complex, grounded in the present moment and the shared experience between therapist and client.

Conclusion: Entering Therapy as an Invitation

Entering therapy is an invitation to become more present with yourself and your world. It is a process that unfolds in relationship, shaped by awareness, contact, and choice. It asks you to face loneliness and intimacy, to navigate the complexities of living abroad, and to take responsibility for your experience.

This process is not about quick solutions or easy answers. It is about engaging with the living moment, with all its contradictions and ambiguities. Therapy offers a space to notice what is happening here and now, to explore the patterns that shape your life, and to discover new possibilities for connection.

If you are considering therapy, I encourage you to approach it as a process rather than a destination. It is a way of being that invites curiosity, honesty, and presence. You can find more about my work and how I support internationals in therapy on my website Expats in Therapy.